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smiles, laughter, a handshake and perhaps a new friend. Life is a
chain of action and reaction. Begin everything with positive action!
Be presentable. Appear kept, neat and tasteful. You can wear
simple clothes, but carry yourself with dignity. Stand straight,
indulge in eye contact. Move with confidence and a sense of
purpose. Act as though you know where you're going and that you
have plans in life. To attract other winners, you must look like a
winner.
Be enthusiastic. Brim with life. Look alive and be alive. Make your
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voice ooze with enthusiasm. Immerse yourself in the situation and
enjoy it. People gravitate to exuberant souls.
Be poised. Reign in your emotions. Know what you are saying when
you say it. Be logical and calculated. Relax. Appear that nothing can
faze you.
Ooze charm. Be warm, friendly and sympathetic. At the onset of
conversations, try to agree with what your companion says.
Minimize criticism. Develop a sense of humor and learn to laugh. Be
upbeat! You may have a load of problems, but the world hates to
hear about it. Don't burden your companion with your anxieties.
Discuss bright ideas. Shroud yourself in optimism.
Empathize. Put yourself in their shoes. Grasp fully what they may be
feeling and thinking. Try to understand why they say what they do
and do what they do. Practice this skill regularly and you'll unlock
many closed doors.
It should take about two weeks of constructive image building before you
notice positive changes. Don't fret! The effort pays off in spades. Once
you've acquired that new image don't fall back to old habits of fading into
the background and being a negative sourpuss. You've earned that million
dollar image.
Striking up Conversations; Meeting
New People
With that brand new personality, meeting new folks should be effortless.
However, there's a scientific way of finding and cementing new
relationships. It's called the FK Method, or the Find 'em and Keep 'em
technique of putting more friends in your social bank account..
For those who are still rather shy, this method of striking up conversations
and making friends will minimize the pain of approaching a stranger.
Study the following technique. Integrate it into your psyche. The rewards
you will gain will be a hundred fold more valuable than the price of this
book.
The FK Method
Consisting of the Pre Conversation and Conversation phase, the FK
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method stresses the importance of utilizing both verbal and non-verbal
communication to bring forth receptivity. In the Pre Conversation phase,
you evaluate yourself and actively adopt the necessary body language to
promote positive contact. In the Conversation phase, you get down to
business and make the final approach to success.
The Pre Conversation Phase
Many poor conversationalists don't realize that negative body language
account for their failure in communication. These unfortunate people
adopt non-receptive body language (discussed earlier in the book) and
stifle conversation before it even commences.
To make non-verbal communication work for you, you can use a
"softening" technique. The softening technique makes your initial
impression work for you. The softening technique consists of a set of
handy body language gestures that will make people more receptive to
your attempts at contact. Initiating conversations become easier.
S O F T E N
A genius came up with this mnemonic (not me). Sometimes, remembering
the entire body language alphabet can be overwhelming. This mnemonic
lets you remember the most vital gestures that allow receptivity and
openness. Deployed before any conversation, these body language
gestures create the proper ambiance for friendship.
S -Smile. Smile at someone. Do it sincerely. A positive non-verbal
signal, this gesture communicates a willingness to communicate. The
other person will consider it a compliment, allowing him to feel good. He
will most likely smile back. When you send friendly messages, you get
friendly messages back. Couple this smile with a warm hello. It indicates
approval of the other person. Remember the basic theory on psychology
101? People like those who like them. Here's a little exercise. Smile at
the mirror. After you smile, give your best grimace. With whom with you
rather talk with?
O - Open posture. Poor conversationalists frequently give off "stay away"
signals by crossing their legs and arms. Because closed postures indicate
a defensive frame of mind, these people appear unapproachable. Open
that posture! Keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Don't cover your mouth
or your chin with your hands. Appear at ease. Open postures send signals
of receptivity and it beckons, " I'm open for contact --- let's talk!"
F - Forward Lean. Learn forward in a natural and casual way when your
prospect speaks. It indicates interest in your part and encourages him to
continue talking. By appearing interested in what he may have to say, you
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win the confidence and liking of your companion. You broadcast to him,
"Keep talking-- this is good stuff!" Never lean back or put your hands
behind your head. Don't mount your head on your chin (the famous
"thinking pose"). You will appear disinterested.
T -Touch. At some point early in the conversation, initiate a hand shake.
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