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" 97 "
GILL MCKNIGHT
Gin s hold relaxed and she moved her mouth a fraction
to suck Solley s thoroughly swollen clit. A long, low groan
rose up through Solley and almost immediately turned into a
strangled cry as she wailed out a guttural orgasm. Her thighs
quivered and her breasts mashed against the cold iron of the
headboard as she arched and shuddered in absolute release.
She had wanted to last a little longer, to savor the wonderful
tenderness of the woman nestled between her thighs. But her
emotional needs were too raw, too close to the surface. Raised
like scars, pebbled like Braille, they crept across her skin,
leaving her open and interpreted to the loving brush of Gin s
fingertips. Exhausted, she fell into the arms waiting to hold
her and hid her tearstained face in Gin s soft neck. Her heart
raced wildly until she could finally breathe control back into
her body and accept the sated happiness that cocooned her.
Much, much later, with her head on Gin s shoulder, Solley
casually played postcoitus with the small taut breasts and their
dark stubs.
I was so jealous first time I touched these. I thought
about how many lovers had squeezed and sucked them. And
seen how long and sexy and& chewable they are. I wanted to
be the only one to know those things. Now, after sex with you,
I just want to light em up and smoke em.
Gin laughed, her breasts quivering. They re never usually
like this unless I m aroused. I was mortified that night when
you pulled my shirt open and there they were, aiming straight
for your mouth. I knew then I was in big, big trouble. It seems
my tits have all the brain cells.
Girl, if you only knew my lurid plans for you that night.
I was going to devour you, cannibalize you, keep these for my
" 98 "
FALLING STAR
pleasure alone. She idly tugged a nipple. Make them mine,
all mine.
Oh, damn. Gin suddenly remembered she had a
calendar, a job, and an existence outside of this bed. Speaking
of possessiveness, I was supposed to meet Kelly half an hour
ago.
You must be devastated. Solley smiled. Sniper wouldn t
be happy, either, to lose out on her front-page scoop.
Well, it s too late now. Gin gave an unrepentant shrug.
I ll call and apologize later. I m not even sure why she wanted
to see me.
Maybe she didn t paw you enough this morning.
Gin grimaced. She seems determined to fan the rumors
about our supposed lesbian affair. To be honest, I don t trust
her. She s a real media slut.
She relaxed in Solley s arms once more, and they lay in
silence watching the early evening shadows creep across the
wall.
Tell me about your child, Solley asked after a while.
Did you have a boy or a girl?
A boy, Miki. He was born with a congenital heart defect.
They tried surgery, so he spent a lot of time in pain, in the
hospital. He died just before his second birthday.
The words came out flat and even. Her face was calm
and composed, but Solley knew currents of deep pain ran
underneath the still surface, turbulent and sucking. Clutching
at the living. Dragging the sufferer down into dark, airless
depths. Solley couldn t imagine coping with such a loss. She
was scared to imagine it, to place herself in Gin s shoes and
picture one of her children gone.
I m so sorry, Gin.
Thank you. Gin s eyes seemed to swallow all the
shadows in the room. He was gorgeous, and so brave. He
" 99 "
GILL MCKNIGHT
had the most wonderful smile. She broke off abruptly. See
what happens? Sometimes it feels like yesterday, but it s been
almost four years. I should be coping better. But it floods back
like a big black wave, crushing me, squashing all the air and
light out of my life, and I get scared I ll never surface again.
Isn t that natural? Solley said carefully. You re still in
a grieving process.
I don t know. Every time I start to feel as though I m
finally getting through it, I seem to end up in another deep
depression. There s no pattern to it, no trigger that I can see,
except for his birthday and the day he died. This summer began
like that. I just fell into a black hole. Knowing I was going to
be working here at La Sirena Verde was the only thing that got
me through.
Solley hesitated. Should she ask? But she was burning to
know. How do you feel now?
Right now? Gin smiled broadly. Lighter. Happier.
Looking forward to tomorrow. Meeting you and the kids sort of
lifted me out of that hole. It s hard to be in a funk when they re
around. And this. She tightened her arm around Solley. This,
today was& perfect. Her words slipped away into an intimate
silence. She wanted to say more but needed time to process the
roller coaster she d been on since the moment they d met.
Who was his father? Solley hoped she didn t sound too
inquisitive.
Someone who helped me when I decided I wanted a
child, no strings attached. We re not in touch.
Solley was familiar with the situation. She and Dan had
conceived the twins that way, and Janie and Marsha now had
the same plan.
I m a very private person, Gin said. Hardly anyone I
work with even knows about Miki, apart from Marsha.
She and Janie never said a word to me. Solley respected
" 100 "
FALLING STAR
the strong bond between the three women and was in awe of
the painful secret they d all carried.
That s why I trust them. Marsha got me through. It s
amazing, I know she hides behind this big, dumb, softy front,
but when the chips are down she is there. Urgency entered
Gin s voice, as if she had to get the whole story out. He was so
ill, I just walked away from everything so I could spend every
minute with him. That s why there are rumors, I suppose.
Solley felt incredibly out of touch. All it had taken was
three kids, and eight years as a mom, and she d lost her grip on
popular culture. She wondered which rumors Gin was talking
about. Maybe Kelly Rose wasn t the only actress she was
involved with, according to the media.
Gin must have sensed her uncertainty. With a wry
grimace, she said, I mysteriously disappeared, then returned
without explanation, and I wasn t in rehab. There s bound to
be speculation.
But you re not an actress. It seems bizarre that you can t
have a private life.
The media follows me because they think I m the key to
outing an actress. There s enough gossip about my sexuality to
make stories like that sell.
Solley thought of the two silly women she d overheard.
They didn t know Gin but had drawn the obvious conclusions.
Frowning, she recognized that after hearing them for the
first time, she d seen Gin differently. Not just as a generous,
friendly woman, but a sexual being.
I fell for the idle chatter myself, she confessed. I
thought you were the sexiest lesbian on the planet. I couldn t
believe you had any interest in me. In fact, I still can t.
Gin s hand found hers. You re beautiful to me, Solley.
Inside and out. Don t ever doubt that, or forget& this.
Perfectly sated, they lay quietly in a calm, luxuriant
" 101 "
GILL MCKNIGHT
afterglow until Solley asked in a small voice, Saturday
night& why did you stop me?
Gin paused, calling upon her courage. Because, despite
all the rumors, as I said& I don t sleep around. I didn t want to
be a summer distraction.
She swallowed a procession of silent pleas, alarmed by a
reckless impulse to let them spill out. Please don t let me be a
distraction. Please let me be real to you, because I m falling
for you, and I need you, and because I can t believe this could
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