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never love you.
Frieda knew she wasn t talking about Justin s feelings. Her
son and David stared at her as if she d just landed on their
planet. She grabbed her keys and jeans jacket. She said, I ve
got my cell, and bolted. Out the door, into the Brooklyn
night, free at last. One year ago, she d felt the same exhila-
ration while walking toward Sam s apartment. Now she felt
it again, as she speeded away from her own. David was plan-
ning to move in as soon as he could sell his place.
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The Not-So-Perfect Man
The atmosphere at Pepe s was festive. Piñatas hung from
the walls, which were bright with strings of jalapeño-
shaped Christmas lights. Red and green. The walls them-
selves were painted mesa yellow. The bottles on the
mirrored bar wore mini-sombreros. Pepe s boasted Brook-
lyn s finest and largest selection of tequila: Forty-four vari-
eties, many of which had the word Diablo or Loco on the
label. The music: think Speedy Gonzalez cartoons. The
pitcher of margaritas they d ordered was nearly gone, and
they hadn t been served one of the five entrees they d or-
dered. Ilene had begged off the hard stuff. She sipped a
Corona. Had been nursing it like a newborn babe.
Betty and Frieda made up for Ilene s sobriety by ham-
mering their drinks. Ilene made up for her sobriety with
gluttony. For every one salsa-laden chip Frieda or Betty ate
(and they were not being ladies), Ilene shoveled in at least
two. She was chowing down. Frieda hasn t seen her in a
while. Had to be a couple of months (how had that hap-
pened?). She was astonished to see how much weight Ilene
had gained.
Licking the salt off her glass, Betty said, Announce-
ment?
Frieda knocked back the remainder of her drink and
poured another, the dregs of the pitcher sliding into her
glass. She said, David and I are getting married!
Frieda s sisters were silent. She added quickly, It ll be at
City Hall. On Friday afternoon. Just to make it official.
We ll do a real ceremony and reception in a few months.
Congrats! said Betty finally.
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V
alerie Frankel
I know it seems rushed, said Frieda. We re hurry-
ing for Stephanie. Her mom is moving back to New
York, and Stephanie can t get into a school. But if we get
married . . .
It s like a green card marriage, said Betty. But for
school admission. A hall-pass marriage. Only in New York.
Ilene said, How romantic.
This is a real marriage, said Frieda. We ve been close
friends for a while, and we both want the same things for
our children. We share interests, values, status. He s
wealthy and can provide for our future. He s accomplished,
talented, handsome.
Ilene took a sip, a tiny one, of beer, and said, Do you
hear yourself? You sound like you re reading from a cata-
log called The Perfect Man.
I sound exactly like you did when you were pushing
him on me all year, said Frieda. It took a while, but now
I agree with you.
Do you really? asked Ilene, leaning forward, her newly
chubby belly pushing against the table.
Betty said to Ilene, You don t seem surprised.
David gave me advance warning, she said. Just hints.
I figured it out on my own.
And? asked Frieda.
And the thought of you marrying David makes me sick,
said Ilene. Nauseated. I may have to excuse myself. Seriously,
I may become violently, spectacularly ill at any moment.
Betty said, Bathroom s that-a-way, and pointed
toward the back.
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The Not-So-Perfect Man
What the hell is wrong with you? asked Frieda. David
is your friend.
I ve been thinking about Sam Hill lately, said Ilene. A
man who, I assure you, is not my friend.
At the mention of his name, Frieda felt her throat catch.
She d been fighting him out of her head every day. Frieda
said, I ve made my peace with that. I spoke to Justin s
therapist about it, and I ve successfully let him go. He was
too much for me, really. I was frazzled from the intensity of
it. We re moving in different directions. Life is much easier
with David. It s level, stable.
Unexciting? said Ilene.
Maybe you d like to make an announcement, Ilene,
said Betty suddenly.
Ilene turned toward Betty. The movement seemed to
make her woozy. Frieda said, What is going on here?
Ilene nodded. I do have an announcement to make. A
couple of them. Ilene turned to Frieda. Last week, I had
an amniocentesis to determine if the baby I ve been carry-
ing for the last sixteen weeks has a chromosomal abnor-
mality. If the test had shown a problem, I would have
aborted. But even if the results were positive, I was still un-
sure about seeing it through because here comes an-
nouncement number two Peter and I have been
separated for the last three and a half months. I didn t find
out I was pregnant until after Peter left. It s a legal separa-
tion. The paperwork has been filed.
Jesus H. Christ, said Frieda.
You mean, Jesucristo, said Betty with a Mexican accent.
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alerie Frankel
You knew about this? asked Frieda to Betty.
The youngest sister said, I knew about the pregnancy.
The Peter stuff . . . Betty trailed off.
Frieda was stunned. She d been oblivious, so wrapped
up in her own drama, the turf war over her heart (a battle
that hadn t been won or lost; everyone just dropped his or
her weapons and went home). Meanwhile, Ilene had been
in torment for four months?
What can I do for you? Frieda asked Ilene. I ll be your
Lamaze partner. I ll take you to doctor s appointments. I ll
teach you to breast-feed.
Ilene said, I haven t told you if I m keeping it.
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